Hulk Hogan Porno????ewwww!!!!

(this was written for my joke writing class, had to write a rant that was true)

A Hulk Hogan sex tape was rumored to have surfaced last week, after the 58 year old former wwe champion said he had no idea he was being filmed. The wrestling legend admits that he went “crazy” and was “running wild” around the time he believes the tape was captured on video in 2007. That is around the time Hogan split from his long time wife Linda Hogan.
First why is there this much buzz about a porno about a 58 year old wrestler. Non wrestling fans have always joked that wrestling is nothing more than men in tights jumping and dancing around and that it is “gay.” Way to feed into the stereotype by watching this porno. Do that many people want to see the Hulkster have sex. Maybe they want to see if he cuts a promo on the mysterious woman during sex. Maybe females want to know if there was something else behind Hogan’s old saying about his 24 inch pythons.

Hogan went on to say, that he doesn’t remember other people’s names much less girls. Now while I would like to think his is because the Hulkster took to many chair shots or got slammed on his head too much. I fear Hogan is talking about the fact that he got around and had lots of sexual relationships with many women. There is a thought to make you nauseous. You go into a bar, you sweet talk a girl and she goes home with a 58 year old, steroid fueled ex-professional wrestler who reached the height of his popularity in 1985, probably before the young girl was born. Or maybe Hulk just does not think of females as real people.

Still the idea that Hulk is a raging sex symbol makes me sick a little. The fact that pro wrestling fans secretly want to watch this porno really makes me sick. Is there that much of a market for this video that Vivid is thinking about releasing it? What does that say about our society. Because I would guess most of Hulk’s fans are over the age of 20, the people that grew up with his are close to 30. These are the people that still want to see Hulk Hogan have sex.

Maybe they are curious to see if there is an answer to that age old question. What are you gunna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you. Of coarse at 58, I am guessing that no matter how much you train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins Hulkamania will probably just run down her leg.