I watched the Roast of Roseanne last night and while funny, these comedy central toasts seem to be missing something lately. What I think they are missing, is funny comedians.
When you think of classic roasts, you have to think of the Dean Martini celebrity Roasts, yes I am referring to those late night infomercials. They had top list actors, movie and tv stars, musicians and most importantly comedians. These comedy central roasts seem to be lacking all of the above.
The “dais” for the Roseanna roast was filled with people who had something to do with Roseanna. Carrie Fisher and Ellen Barkin, were people that they she worked with, I think. That’s the point, we should have got John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf or one of the kids from her show to talk about Roseanne on set or the differences in her as the show went on and they got older. There should have been someone who could have talked about Roseanne during those years where she really was on top of the comedic world. Instead, we got Katey Sagal, who was actually funny, but she was playing a similar character on a competing show.
The other part of the dais was made up of comedians and roast regulars such as, Gilbert Gottfried, Wayne Brady, Seth Green, Anthony Jeselnik, Amy Schumer, Tom Arnold, Jeff Ross and Jane Lynch hosting.
Each had their good jokes no one was bad but there is still something missing from these last few roasts. One of my main problems with them is that they seem tamer, like the real funny stuff is being edited out. Comedians are being censored more lately because God forbid a comedian would say something offensive. Now I am not saying some of the things comedians said lately were not a little over the line. Dane Cook made a rape joke that was directed towards a heckler. Dane’s joke was a little over the top, but most of Dane’s jokes are pretty bad. I get it hecklers are probably awful to deal with. The last two stand-up shows I went to had hecklers and it was getting annoying. But the stand-ups didn’t really insult them, well maybe a few whore jokes but that’s what you get.
Jeff Ross made a joke about the Aurora shootings that was censored by Comedy Central. I didn’t really have a problem with his joke: “Seth, congratulations. This is actually a great night for you. You haven’t gotten this much attention since you shot all those people in Aurora…I’m Kidding. You are not James Holmes. At least he did something in a movie theater that people will remember.”
Now obviously what happened that night in Aurora was a terrible tragedy. I personally don’t have a problem with this joke, it was more making fun of Seth Green then it was the shooting. Does it push that decency line? Yes. Is it insensitive? I don’t think so. When I read it, I laughed and said that’s bad but funny. Ross also showed up to the event in Penn State gear with half naked men. Again the Penn State situation is awful and I believe everyone got what they deserved. But what Ross did was funny.
Ross and Gottfried were the best part of the roast. I guess my problem is these “daises” are getting people we never heard of. I think people like Jeslnik and Schumer are funny but they aren’t that funny. They both had jokes that were good but I didn’t think some of their jokes were that funny. And Wayne Brady and Seth Green? I actually like Seth, he does funny stuff but I don’t think he is the best choice for a roast. I want to see more in your face, top of the line comedians on these daises. Bring in Artie Lang, Dave Attell, Joe Rogan, Louis CK, Patton Oswalt, Robin Williams, DL Hughley, Martin Lawerence or Jim Gaffigan. I know some of those I named have been on some roasts before but Comedy Central needs to bring in some better talent. I think that has been what was missing from Charlie Sheen, Roseanne and Donald Trump’s Roasts. The talent they get is good but I want it to be better, just like the show. I enjoyed the roasts but they are not as funny as they have been in years past.
The last three have been lackluster and I would like to see them get better because Roasts are funny. And I hate to say it but bring back Whitney Cummings.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
The Dark Knight Rises! The End of a great story
I wanted to take a few days before I wrote about The Dark Knight Rises. First off I am a huge batman fan always have been; from comics, cartoons, 60’s campy tv shows, to 90’s movies to Christopher Nolan’s first two movies Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Growing up I had tons of batman toys, I always enjoyed stories of the batman. Prior to watching the new film, I re-watched the two and I am glad I did.
Obviously I was looking forward to this movie for months. As the trailers came out and you began to get little snips about what this movie would be about, I grew more and more excited. This was the summer movie I had to see, and it didn’t disappoint.
Waking up Friday morning and watching Fox Chicago, I learned of the horror that happened in Aurora during the midnight shooting. I was shocked to hear of what happened and as I day went on we learned more about the victims and the shooter. It was an unbelievably sad day, even when I saw the movie around 7 p.m. that Friday people were still talking about it. I feel sorry for the victims and their families as they struggle to move on and somehow make sense of this all. But now to the movie.
I absolutely loved this film. I thought it was the perfect way to end the trilogy and the story of batman. I will try not to give out any spoilers. Christian Bale was great once again as Bruce Wayne/Batman, but feel this movie give him more of a chance to shine than the others. Tom Hardy was great as Bane. The first fight scene with Bane and Batman was perfect. Hardy was able to do a lot with his voice and his eyes, he turned out a great performance. I will admit there were a few times it was hard to understand him but I also think that had a lot to do with the music in the IMAX. Anne Hathaway was also good as the cat burglar Selina Kyle. Although never mentioned by name she was able to portray the character a lot different from previous actresses but in a very good way. Upon hearing of her casting I wasn’t exactly sold on her being able to fight and beat people up. During the course of the film I was sold and it was believable. Morgan Freeman again turns in a solid performance and Michael Caine shines especially in two particular scenes, one in the beginning and one at the end. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was good in the film as well, his character is very well advanced throughout the film as a smart cop with good instincts.
The film takes place years after the previous. Batman has not been seen and Bruce Wayne is reclusive to his home. A series of events lead both Bruce and Batman to reintroduce themselves to the world. Bane has a plan to take over Gothem City. Bruce must learn to face his fears and “Rise” to be able to stop Batman with or without the help of the Cat, who is an untrustworthy interest to both of Wayne’s personas. There are some great scenes between Alfred and Bruce, Batman and Gordon, Bruce/Batman and Selina, Bane and Bruce/Batman. Prior to seeing the film, I heard Richard Roeper say the last five minutes where the best five minutes of any film this year. I have to agree. The end fight and chase scene gave me goosebumps and the final moments of the film had the hairs on the back of my neck standing.
Nolan has done it again! He has given up a great action/drama/comic book movie. This was the perfect way to end the story and bring the trilogy full circle. I can’t wait to see this film again. Right now I think it is my favorite of the three films. I don’t know if another Batman film/series can be made again. I don’t know if I want to see another Batman film series. Why mess with something this good. I give this movie a big A and a 9.5 out of 10.
And as one legend comes to an end, another begins….
The teaser trailer for Man of Steel was shown with The Dark Knight Rises!
Obviously I was looking forward to this movie for months. As the trailers came out and you began to get little snips about what this movie would be about, I grew more and more excited. This was the summer movie I had to see, and it didn’t disappoint.
Waking up Friday morning and watching Fox Chicago, I learned of the horror that happened in Aurora during the midnight shooting. I was shocked to hear of what happened and as I day went on we learned more about the victims and the shooter. It was an unbelievably sad day, even when I saw the movie around 7 p.m. that Friday people were still talking about it. I feel sorry for the victims and their families as they struggle to move on and somehow make sense of this all. But now to the movie.
I absolutely loved this film. I thought it was the perfect way to end the trilogy and the story of batman. I will try not to give out any spoilers. Christian Bale was great once again as Bruce Wayne/Batman, but feel this movie give him more of a chance to shine than the others. Tom Hardy was great as Bane. The first fight scene with Bane and Batman was perfect. Hardy was able to do a lot with his voice and his eyes, he turned out a great performance. I will admit there were a few times it was hard to understand him but I also think that had a lot to do with the music in the IMAX. Anne Hathaway was also good as the cat burglar Selina Kyle. Although never mentioned by name she was able to portray the character a lot different from previous actresses but in a very good way. Upon hearing of her casting I wasn’t exactly sold on her being able to fight and beat people up. During the course of the film I was sold and it was believable. Morgan Freeman again turns in a solid performance and Michael Caine shines especially in two particular scenes, one in the beginning and one at the end. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was good in the film as well, his character is very well advanced throughout the film as a smart cop with good instincts.
The film takes place years after the previous. Batman has not been seen and Bruce Wayne is reclusive to his home. A series of events lead both Bruce and Batman to reintroduce themselves to the world. Bane has a plan to take over Gothem City. Bruce must learn to face his fears and “Rise” to be able to stop Batman with or without the help of the Cat, who is an untrustworthy interest to both of Wayne’s personas. There are some great scenes between Alfred and Bruce, Batman and Gordon, Bruce/Batman and Selina, Bane and Bruce/Batman. Prior to seeing the film, I heard Richard Roeper say the last five minutes where the best five minutes of any film this year. I have to agree. The end fight and chase scene gave me goosebumps and the final moments of the film had the hairs on the back of my neck standing.
Nolan has done it again! He has given up a great action/drama/comic book movie. This was the perfect way to end the story and bring the trilogy full circle. I can’t wait to see this film again. Right now I think it is my favorite of the three films. I don’t know if another Batman film/series can be made again. I don’t know if I want to see another Batman film series. Why mess with something this good. I give this movie a big A and a 9.5 out of 10.
And as one legend comes to an end, another begins….
The teaser trailer for Man of Steel was shown with The Dark Knight Rises!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
MLB ASG, yes I enjoy the game
I am sitting on my bed watching the MLB All Star Game as I type this. I don't know what it is, maybe it is the players are having fun while trying hard as oppose to other All Star Games, but I really enjoy the MBL All Star Game. I can do without the outcome of this game determining the home field advantage of the World Series. I think it should be the team with the best record that has home field advantage. I get it MLB is trying to get advertising and rating by making it "count." But I don't think MLB has to have it count to make it relevant.
The NFL Pro Bowl is a joke. No one tries hard, most of the players who make it are "injured" and don't play in the game and it is the week before the Super Bowl so the players that make it form those teams can't participate. The NBA All Star game is also a joke, no one plays defense and it is all about offense. The NHL All Star Game is the same way. The good thing about the NBA All Star Game is the dunk contest, which I personally can care less about. The NHL also has a skills competition, maybe it is because I am a hockey fan but I really enjoy watching some of those.
The All Star Game for baseball is great because the players have fun, they try hard on both offense and defense and they are so complementary towards each other but it doesn't seem forced or phony.
By the way, tell Ken Rosenthaul to take off the bow tie, he looks like a goof. Sorry back to what I want to write about.
The sad thing is that I think part of the reason I think it is so fun and exciting is because it "counts." I also have to give Fox a thumbs up, I enjoy their All Star game presentation. I enjoy that a member of every team has to be represented. This particular All Star game they are really talking about it being the last appearance of Chipper Jones as a player. Jones has stated he plans on retiring at the end of the season. Jones is a Hall of Fame player, who says he played his entire career clean but considered steroids years ago. You can't blame a guy for considering taking steroids when almost everyone in the league was taking it at one point. But you have to credit the guy for not taking steroids. In an era where you could question almost anyone, Jones along with Derek Jeter, Ken Griffey Jr. and Frank Thomas are the guys I can honestly say I believe did not take steroids.
I would like to know what players really think of the "it counts" stipulation. Because a lot of times when I hear players interviewed about their appearance in the game and his time as an All Star they usually side step around the issues. I would like to know what they really think, if they also think it is stupid or if they honestly don't mind.
There is one thing I do not like about the MLB All Star game, the home run derby and there is a specific reason I don't like the derby, Chris Burman. I can't stand Chris Burman. I hate having to listen to him call the derby with his back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back gone! God would someone at ESPN shut this idiot up. He calls these home runs like it is a bases loaded at the bottom of the 9th in the World Series with 2 outs. Just shut up! I mean personally don't think the derby is all that entertaining but add Berman and it is enough to make sure I watch a rerun of something. He is probably the most annoying person on a network who employs a lot of annoying people.
But despite Berman, I still enjoy the actual game. Out of the major four sports, I will continue to watch the MLB All Star game and root on my favorite players.
The NFL Pro Bowl is a joke. No one tries hard, most of the players who make it are "injured" and don't play in the game and it is the week before the Super Bowl so the players that make it form those teams can't participate. The NBA All Star game is also a joke, no one plays defense and it is all about offense. The NHL All Star Game is the same way. The good thing about the NBA All Star Game is the dunk contest, which I personally can care less about. The NHL also has a skills competition, maybe it is because I am a hockey fan but I really enjoy watching some of those.
The All Star Game for baseball is great because the players have fun, they try hard on both offense and defense and they are so complementary towards each other but it doesn't seem forced or phony.
By the way, tell Ken Rosenthaul to take off the bow tie, he looks like a goof. Sorry back to what I want to write about.
The sad thing is that I think part of the reason I think it is so fun and exciting is because it "counts." I also have to give Fox a thumbs up, I enjoy their All Star game presentation. I enjoy that a member of every team has to be represented. This particular All Star game they are really talking about it being the last appearance of Chipper Jones as a player. Jones has stated he plans on retiring at the end of the season. Jones is a Hall of Fame player, who says he played his entire career clean but considered steroids years ago. You can't blame a guy for considering taking steroids when almost everyone in the league was taking it at one point. But you have to credit the guy for not taking steroids. In an era where you could question almost anyone, Jones along with Derek Jeter, Ken Griffey Jr. and Frank Thomas are the guys I can honestly say I believe did not take steroids.
I would like to know what players really think of the "it counts" stipulation. Because a lot of times when I hear players interviewed about their appearance in the game and his time as an All Star they usually side step around the issues. I would like to know what they really think, if they also think it is stupid or if they honestly don't mind.
There is one thing I do not like about the MLB All Star game, the home run derby and there is a specific reason I don't like the derby, Chris Burman. I can't stand Chris Burman. I hate having to listen to him call the derby with his back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back gone! God would someone at ESPN shut this idiot up. He calls these home runs like it is a bases loaded at the bottom of the 9th in the World Series with 2 outs. Just shut up! I mean personally don't think the derby is all that entertaining but add Berman and it is enough to make sure I watch a rerun of something. He is probably the most annoying person on a network who employs a lot of annoying people.
But despite Berman, I still enjoy the actual game. Out of the major four sports, I will continue to watch the MLB All Star game and root on my favorite players.
Monday, July 9, 2012
headline news style jokes, better than Leno
Hello sorry, I have been unbelievably busy the last few days. So I am taking comedy writing classes and part of my assignment each week is to write headline news style jokes. Since I am busy here are my 5 jokes for this week. Enjoy! I hope!
In Jesse Ventura's new book, "DemoCrips and ReBloodlicans: No More Gangs in Government" the former Governor compares the two main political parties to the two famous gangs of LA the Crips and the Bloods and says the only difference is politicians wear Brooks Brother Suits. Ventura also suggested that Romney and Obama fight to the death with switchblades while singing "when you're a Jet you're a Jet till the end."
According to a new lawsuit an Italian eatery just steps from Yankee Stadium has been charging customers for slices of pizza and sex acts. Apparently $9 for a slice of pie wasn't fucking the customers enough.
Mayor Bloomberg signed a bill that would fine taxi cab drivers up to $10,000 for willingly taking prostitutes to their johns. Some women are worried that cab drivers will be afraid to pick up females dressed provocatively. Bloomberg responded by saying, "tell the sluts not to dress like filthy whores and a gentleman will drive them home."
Last week, leaders of the Beit Simchat Torah, a congregation for gay, lesbian and transgendered jews showed off their new synagogue and community center. Community members this synagogue does not bother them but feel the glory holes in the confessional booths are a bit much.
Mitt Romney accused President Barak Obama of not fighting for latinos immigration until a tough re-election year and that the President is only doing this to get latino votes. Democrats responded by saying , "duhhhhh."
I didnt say they were going to be great. I swear if I get time this week, some funny stories coming!
In Jesse Ventura's new book, "DemoCrips and ReBloodlicans: No More Gangs in Government" the former Governor compares the two main political parties to the two famous gangs of LA the Crips and the Bloods and says the only difference is politicians wear Brooks Brother Suits. Ventura also suggested that Romney and Obama fight to the death with switchblades while singing "when you're a Jet you're a Jet till the end."
According to a new lawsuit an Italian eatery just steps from Yankee Stadium has been charging customers for slices of pizza and sex acts. Apparently $9 for a slice of pie wasn't fucking the customers enough.
Mayor Bloomberg signed a bill that would fine taxi cab drivers up to $10,000 for willingly taking prostitutes to their johns. Some women are worried that cab drivers will be afraid to pick up females dressed provocatively. Bloomberg responded by saying, "tell the sluts not to dress like filthy whores and a gentleman will drive them home."
Last week, leaders of the Beit Simchat Torah, a congregation for gay, lesbian and transgendered jews showed off their new synagogue and community center. Community members this synagogue does not bother them but feel the glory holes in the confessional booths are a bit much.
Mitt Romney accused President Barak Obama of not fighting for latinos immigration until a tough re-election year and that the President is only doing this to get latino votes. Democrats responded by saying , "duhhhhh."
I didnt say they were going to be great. I swear if I get time this week, some funny stories coming!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
68 hotdogs in 10 minutes, good God
68, that is the magic number that Joey Chestnut ate to win his 6th straight Nathen’s Famous hot Dogs in the eating competition. I believe they have 10 minutes. Can you imagine eating 10 hotdogs in a minute. That is utterly disgusting. Each hotdog is an estimated 149 calories. In that 10 minutes Joey ate about 10,132 calories. What is the daily value? I can’t watch that stuff, it seriously makes me sick. How could someone consider eating that much.
What type of health problems do these people have years after they stop these competitions? I would assume you have to practice eating that way. There has got to be a skill to it. What would that do to you esophagus, or your stomach, intestines, or whatever else is in there. I wouldn’t even consider eating like that. There has got to be some long term effects. These people are nuts, but then again so are you that watch it?
So I don’t really want to see the new Spiderman. I just saw this movie a few years ago and I enjoyed it. I heard this is supposed to be more like the comics. And after Spiderman 3, something needed to be done because that movie sucked. But like the new Hulk movie (which I still haven’t seen) remaking a movie that was just made 10 years ago just seems silly. The lizard just looks stupid. Maybe I will rent this at a redbox when it comes out, I just don’t think I will be spending my money on it for the theaters.
I saw the 21 Jump Street movie, oh my God did it suck. I couldn’t even finish it. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t finish a movie. But this was god awful. Jonah Hill needs to go away, I can’t stand him. He is nothing but dick jokes all the time. The whole concept of that movie was just stupid. I didn’t even really like Ice-Cube in it. BTW, still love that Mr. NWA, “Fuck the Police” is playing a police officer in a god awful comedy.
So it reached 105-degrees in Chicago today. Yeah I will admit it’s hot, but the humidity made it worse. I’ve been in Vegas and southern California when it has been over 100 and this is different. But I will still take this over 20 and windy. Then came the rain and it dropped around 19-degrees. The problem is the humidity! It's awful. You know it's hot when street's compact and break. It was a crazy day in Chicago.
What type of health problems do these people have years after they stop these competitions? I would assume you have to practice eating that way. There has got to be a skill to it. What would that do to you esophagus, or your stomach, intestines, or whatever else is in there. I wouldn’t even consider eating like that. There has got to be some long term effects. These people are nuts, but then again so are you that watch it?
So I don’t really want to see the new Spiderman. I just saw this movie a few years ago and I enjoyed it. I heard this is supposed to be more like the comics. And after Spiderman 3, something needed to be done because that movie sucked. But like the new Hulk movie (which I still haven’t seen) remaking a movie that was just made 10 years ago just seems silly. The lizard just looks stupid. Maybe I will rent this at a redbox when it comes out, I just don’t think I will be spending my money on it for the theaters.
I saw the 21 Jump Street movie, oh my God did it suck. I couldn’t even finish it. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t finish a movie. But this was god awful. Jonah Hill needs to go away, I can’t stand him. He is nothing but dick jokes all the time. The whole concept of that movie was just stupid. I didn’t even really like Ice-Cube in it. BTW, still love that Mr. NWA, “Fuck the Police” is playing a police officer in a god awful comedy.
So it reached 105-degrees in Chicago today. Yeah I will admit it’s hot, but the humidity made it worse. I’ve been in Vegas and southern California when it has been over 100 and this is different. But I will still take this over 20 and windy. Then came the rain and it dropped around 19-degrees. The problem is the humidity! It's awful. You know it's hot when street's compact and break. It was a crazy day in Chicago.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy Will Smith and Bill Pullman Day
Happy 4th of July everyone! Sorry could not post yesterday it was a little hectic. Just wanted to wish everyone a happy and safe 4th.
Here for everyone's enjoyment is the car stuck in the rain story that I love to tell. Great story...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT3QQRSPqzY
Have a safe 4th dont blow up too much shit...or do what do I care
Oh and just for fund, enjoy the early days of a legend...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhOdlbosQ1g
Here for everyone's enjoyment is the car stuck in the rain story that I love to tell. Great story...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT3QQRSPqzY
Have a safe 4th dont blow up too much shit...or do what do I care
Oh and just for fund, enjoy the early days of a legend...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhOdlbosQ1g
Monday, July 2, 2012
Katie vs. Tom for Suri...
I am not one to get into celebrity gossip, I could care less what most of these “celebrities” do that fill up the screen from tmz. But I am loving this Katie Holmes Tom Cruise break up stuff. I just can’t get enough! And it is not that I like Cruise or Holmes, it is just funny as hell. I laugh at the stupidness of the situation.
First off everything you read says Katie is concerned for their child Suri, because Tom is pushing for her to become heavily involved in scientology. I saw a headline about a sea school, and fears Tom wanted to push the “religion” down the child’s throat. But the fact that Holmes is scared of this is laughable. EVERYONE COULD SEE THIS COMING!
Tom has been crazy about this “religion” for years and if you hear him talk about anyone could have seen this coming. Tom has been trying to force scientology down people’s throat for years! So why would his daughter be any different. Katie should have seen this coming, it’s not like Tom just because a scientologist. Of coarse he would ram this crap down his kid’s throat. What did she think oh Tom won’t do that! Knowing her husband and the way he goes on and on about this science fiction book, she should have known this could potentially happen before they had children.
Katie thinks she is being followed. Normally I would say this girl has issues but she probably is being followed. That does not mean that it is the scientologist, she is a celebrity who knows who it could be. It could be photographers trying to capture every waking moment of her life, it could anyone.
This could get ugly for Tom if Katie has any ugly stuff about him and his religion. This is a story that is not going anywhere for months. I will probably be sick of it in a few weeks but for the mean time I am going to laugh it up at their expense. So bring it tmz, keep me entertained.
***
Anderson Cooper announced he was gay today and the world responded by saying “yes we know.”
***
The United States Anti-Doping Agency has officially charged Lance Armstrong, accusing him of pretty much doping his entire cycling career. I do not following cycling at all. But it seems there is just a constant stream of doping charges against Armstrong. Either someone or a group of people really have it in for him or he is about to get busted big time. I have no idea if he doped or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if he used performance enhancing substances. It’s the time’s we live in.
First off everything you read says Katie is concerned for their child Suri, because Tom is pushing for her to become heavily involved in scientology. I saw a headline about a sea school, and fears Tom wanted to push the “religion” down the child’s throat. But the fact that Holmes is scared of this is laughable. EVERYONE COULD SEE THIS COMING!
Tom has been crazy about this “religion” for years and if you hear him talk about anyone could have seen this coming. Tom has been trying to force scientology down people’s throat for years! So why would his daughter be any different. Katie should have seen this coming, it’s not like Tom just because a scientologist. Of coarse he would ram this crap down his kid’s throat. What did she think oh Tom won’t do that! Knowing her husband and the way he goes on and on about this science fiction book, she should have known this could potentially happen before they had children.
Katie thinks she is being followed. Normally I would say this girl has issues but she probably is being followed. That does not mean that it is the scientologist, she is a celebrity who knows who it could be. It could be photographers trying to capture every waking moment of her life, it could anyone.
This could get ugly for Tom if Katie has any ugly stuff about him and his religion. This is a story that is not going anywhere for months. I will probably be sick of it in a few weeks but for the mean time I am going to laugh it up at their expense. So bring it tmz, keep me entertained.
***
Anderson Cooper announced he was gay today and the world responded by saying “yes we know.”
***
The United States Anti-Doping Agency has officially charged Lance Armstrong, accusing him of pretty much doping his entire cycling career. I do not following cycling at all. But it seems there is just a constant stream of doping charges against Armstrong. Either someone or a group of people really have it in for him or he is about to get busted big time. I have no idea if he doped or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if he used performance enhancing substances. It’s the time’s we live in.
Friday, June 29, 2012
contract extension for Sid the kid
I was surprised to hear of the 12 year 104.4 million deal between Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburg Penguins. Because of the obvious concussion problem. According to NBC sports, Pittsburg GM Ray Shero said that he believes “Sidney’s best days are ahead of him.” That is a high risk for a player with serious concussion problems.
I have no doubt if there is one player in the NHL that deserves a contract like this it is Crosby. Crosby is an unbelievable athlete and from the public persona we see of him a very well rounded down to earth guy. He is probably one of the best hockey players in the world. The great thing about Crosby is not only does he make high-light real shots and goals but he does all of the little things that will never make a highlight reel; the passes, the checks, the moves here and there, the fakes, skating just everything. When you watch him, you are watching a guy that knows he sport and makes all the right moves. He is not afraid to get physical which can scare you because of the history. Crosby no doubt deserves this contract and the Penguins are smart to try and lock this kid up for life.
However!
It is a risk considering the problems he has had with concussions. Crosby missed what seemed like half of two seasons ago and the majority of this past season because of concussions. It has been proven that each concussion is worse for you and your brain. With the past two concussions which started at the 2011 Winter Classic. At any point any NHL player could be seriously injured and have their careers ended even without concussions. The same could be said about all major sports. But because Crosby has a history of previous concussions he is more susceptible to future concussions.
I like Crosby and I would love to see him win the cup again, I hope he plays every year on the contract. As long as he does not beat the hawks in the finals!
I have no doubt if there is one player in the NHL that deserves a contract like this it is Crosby. Crosby is an unbelievable athlete and from the public persona we see of him a very well rounded down to earth guy. He is probably one of the best hockey players in the world. The great thing about Crosby is not only does he make high-light real shots and goals but he does all of the little things that will never make a highlight reel; the passes, the checks, the moves here and there, the fakes, skating just everything. When you watch him, you are watching a guy that knows he sport and makes all the right moves. He is not afraid to get physical which can scare you because of the history. Crosby no doubt deserves this contract and the Penguins are smart to try and lock this kid up for life.
However!
It is a risk considering the problems he has had with concussions. Crosby missed what seemed like half of two seasons ago and the majority of this past season because of concussions. It has been proven that each concussion is worse for you and your brain. With the past two concussions which started at the 2011 Winter Classic. At any point any NHL player could be seriously injured and have their careers ended even without concussions. The same could be said about all major sports. But because Crosby has a history of previous concussions he is more susceptible to future concussions.
I like Crosby and I would love to see him win the cup again, I hope he plays every year on the contract. As long as he does not beat the hawks in the finals!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Girls
So I know I am probably alone in this but I cannot stand “Girls.” Granted I have only watched 3 or 4 episodes but I couldn’t take it anymore. I know it is getting very good reviews and it seems a lot of people love the show, but I just don’t like it. I know all about how Lena Dunham is 26 and she is actor and writer and everyone is kissing her butt for getting a show on HBO at that age.
My main problem with the show is it seems it is just a bunch of rich white girls complaining about everything. It seems they are very out of touch with reality. None of the characters were likeable and their relationships were a joke. I understand some relationships are messed up but these just did not seem natural. Maybe it was the bad acting by the four main cast members. They all seem to be like drowns going through the motions. Lena’s character was the most annoying. She seems to ramble on about nothing and then rambles some more. It’s hard to understand what she means when she speaks.
The other characters are basically the same, the act like spoiled rich girls who are very dense. Maybe it too closely resembles life for Dunham. It didn’t seem like there was anything really going on during the episodes I watched. One girl has a loser shirtless boyfriend, her roommate is in a relationship with someone who smothers but they both decide to break-up, one is a virgin, and one is a baby sitter who loses the babies. This character got pregnant, got drunk and hooked up with a guy at the bar while she was supposed to be getting an abortion.
Maybe I don’t relate to the hipster lifestyle but I just can’t find anything to relate to these characters. I am almost 30 so in the same age group as these girls. I don’t know, I wanted to give this show a chance because I heard it was a modern more realistic show not really like Sex in the City. To be it’s just a dumb show about dumb whiney rich girls.
Shame too because HBO has probably the best shows on television.
My main problem with the show is it seems it is just a bunch of rich white girls complaining about everything. It seems they are very out of touch with reality. None of the characters were likeable and their relationships were a joke. I understand some relationships are messed up but these just did not seem natural. Maybe it was the bad acting by the four main cast members. They all seem to be like drowns going through the motions. Lena’s character was the most annoying. She seems to ramble on about nothing and then rambles some more. It’s hard to understand what she means when she speaks.
The other characters are basically the same, the act like spoiled rich girls who are very dense. Maybe it too closely resembles life for Dunham. It didn’t seem like there was anything really going on during the episodes I watched. One girl has a loser shirtless boyfriend, her roommate is in a relationship with someone who smothers but they both decide to break-up, one is a virgin, and one is a baby sitter who loses the babies. This character got pregnant, got drunk and hooked up with a guy at the bar while she was supposed to be getting an abortion.
Maybe I don’t relate to the hipster lifestyle but I just can’t find anything to relate to these characters. I am almost 30 so in the same age group as these girls. I don’t know, I wanted to give this show a chance because I heard it was a modern more realistic show not really like Sex in the City. To be it’s just a dumb show about dumb whiney rich girls.
Shame too because HBO has probably the best shows on television.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
summer movies!
The last few summers have been dreadful to me movie wise. There are always a few films I want to see but in the last few years, I’ve wanted to skip most of the summer blockbusters. But this year is different. This is the first summer in quite a few years where I want to see some of the summer projected biggest hits. I have probably been to the theater more this summer (twice) than I have been the past two summers.
First I saw The Avengers, because honestly who didn’t. I have to admit I was always more of a DC comic book kid than Marvel. I enjoyed the movie! I didn’t think it was as great as everyone made it out to be. There was great action and great story telling. I did have a problem with the character of Hawkeye, kind of useless. And I loved Scarlet Johansson running around in skimpy clothes but I also found her character kind of stupid. Example when all the heroes are fighting the aliens and Iron Man, Thor and the Hulk are having difficulty these two are using a bow and arrow and bullets and kicking major butt. I know it’s a comic book movie, but I felt Scarlet was just in there for T&A. And I enjoy T&A as much as the next guy. Overall it was a good movie, I enjoyed it. There were some parts I really enjoyed. Great to see all these characters come together.
I just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Going in I was expecting cheese and I got it. I wasn’t expecting a great thoughtful soul searching movie. I was expecting what I got and I enjoyed it. In a time where it seems all they do is remake movies and produce money spilling sequels, this was something very original. I should point out, I have not read the book and probably won’t. It was a unique take on twisting history and historical figures and doing something original with them. I enjoyed the film and I recommend it. But go in with the right mindset, it is going to be ridiculous but enjoyable.
Some other summer films I will probably see:
The Dark Knight Rises- what can I say. I need to see this film. The two previous batman films have been amazing and I can’t wait to see what Nolan and others have in store for their final film in this story.
Savages- Drug cartels, murder, hot women and Oliver Stone. Great combination!
The Watch- dislike Ben Stiller, can’t stand Jonah Hill and getting sick of Vince Vaughn, yet I think this could be funny as hell. I can’t believe it but I am down to see this.
The Expendables 2- I enjoyed the first one, great action flick. I am looking forwards to the second one. I think going into these movies you should not be expecting a great “story” but just sit back, relax and enjoy some kick-ass action!
Lawless- Look at the cast! Great actors in what looks to be a good mob type movie. Also looks like some good action
Gangster Squad- again actors I am not particularly fans of, but this looks like a very interesting movie.
Dredd- I don’t know why, but I want to see it.
Taken 2- Liam Neeson kicking ass again in Europe. First one was such a surprise, my fear is this is a sequel just to make a sequel and make money. Hope it is good!
And I technically know it is not a summer movie but the new 007 movie Skyfall also looks amazing!
Oy Vey! After reading this list, I doubt I will make it to the theater for all of these! Most I will enjoy thanks to red box. But I do want to see all of the movies listed above. For the first time in a few years, it looks like it will be a great summer movie wise!
First I saw The Avengers, because honestly who didn’t. I have to admit I was always more of a DC comic book kid than Marvel. I enjoyed the movie! I didn’t think it was as great as everyone made it out to be. There was great action and great story telling. I did have a problem with the character of Hawkeye, kind of useless. And I loved Scarlet Johansson running around in skimpy clothes but I also found her character kind of stupid. Example when all the heroes are fighting the aliens and Iron Man, Thor and the Hulk are having difficulty these two are using a bow and arrow and bullets and kicking major butt. I know it’s a comic book movie, but I felt Scarlet was just in there for T&A. And I enjoy T&A as much as the next guy. Overall it was a good movie, I enjoyed it. There were some parts I really enjoyed. Great to see all these characters come together.
I just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Going in I was expecting cheese and I got it. I wasn’t expecting a great thoughtful soul searching movie. I was expecting what I got and I enjoyed it. In a time where it seems all they do is remake movies and produce money spilling sequels, this was something very original. I should point out, I have not read the book and probably won’t. It was a unique take on twisting history and historical figures and doing something original with them. I enjoyed the film and I recommend it. But go in with the right mindset, it is going to be ridiculous but enjoyable.
Some other summer films I will probably see:
The Dark Knight Rises- what can I say. I need to see this film. The two previous batman films have been amazing and I can’t wait to see what Nolan and others have in store for their final film in this story.
Savages- Drug cartels, murder, hot women and Oliver Stone. Great combination!
The Watch- dislike Ben Stiller, can’t stand Jonah Hill and getting sick of Vince Vaughn, yet I think this could be funny as hell. I can’t believe it but I am down to see this.
The Expendables 2- I enjoyed the first one, great action flick. I am looking forwards to the second one. I think going into these movies you should not be expecting a great “story” but just sit back, relax and enjoy some kick-ass action!
Lawless- Look at the cast! Great actors in what looks to be a good mob type movie. Also looks like some good action
Gangster Squad- again actors I am not particularly fans of, but this looks like a very interesting movie.
Dredd- I don’t know why, but I want to see it.
Taken 2- Liam Neeson kicking ass again in Europe. First one was such a surprise, my fear is this is a sequel just to make a sequel and make money. Hope it is good!
And I technically know it is not a summer movie but the new 007 movie Skyfall also looks amazing!
Oy Vey! After reading this list, I doubt I will make it to the theater for all of these! Most I will enjoy thanks to red box. But I do want to see all of the movies listed above. For the first time in a few years, it looks like it will be a great summer movie wise!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Hulk Hogan Porno????ewwww!!!!
(this was written for my joke writing class, had to write a rant that was true)
A Hulk Hogan sex tape was rumored to have surfaced last week, after the 58 year old former wwe champion said he had no idea he was being filmed. The wrestling legend admits that he went “crazy” and was “running wild” around the time he believes the tape was captured on video in 2007. That is around the time Hogan split from his long time wife Linda Hogan.
First why is there this much buzz about a porno about a 58 year old wrestler. Non wrestling fans have always joked that wrestling is nothing more than men in tights jumping and dancing around and that it is “gay.” Way to feed into the stereotype by watching this porno. Do that many people want to see the Hulkster have sex. Maybe they want to see if he cuts a promo on the mysterious woman during sex. Maybe females want to know if there was something else behind Hogan’s old saying about his 24 inch pythons.
Hogan went on to say, that he doesn’t remember other people’s names much less girls. Now while I would like to think his is because the Hulkster took to many chair shots or got slammed on his head too much. I fear Hogan is talking about the fact that he got around and had lots of sexual relationships with many women. There is a thought to make you nauseous. You go into a bar, you sweet talk a girl and she goes home with a 58 year old, steroid fueled ex-professional wrestler who reached the height of his popularity in 1985, probably before the young girl was born. Or maybe Hulk just does not think of females as real people.
Still the idea that Hulk is a raging sex symbol makes me sick a little. The fact that pro wrestling fans secretly want to watch this porno really makes me sick. Is there that much of a market for this video that Vivid is thinking about releasing it? What does that say about our society. Because I would guess most of Hulk’s fans are over the age of 20, the people that grew up with his are close to 30. These are the people that still want to see Hulk Hogan have sex.
Maybe they are curious to see if there is an answer to that age old question. What are you gunna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you. Of coarse at 58, I am guessing that no matter how much you train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins Hulkamania will probably just run down her leg.
A Hulk Hogan sex tape was rumored to have surfaced last week, after the 58 year old former wwe champion said he had no idea he was being filmed. The wrestling legend admits that he went “crazy” and was “running wild” around the time he believes the tape was captured on video in 2007. That is around the time Hogan split from his long time wife Linda Hogan.
First why is there this much buzz about a porno about a 58 year old wrestler. Non wrestling fans have always joked that wrestling is nothing more than men in tights jumping and dancing around and that it is “gay.” Way to feed into the stereotype by watching this porno. Do that many people want to see the Hulkster have sex. Maybe they want to see if he cuts a promo on the mysterious woman during sex. Maybe females want to know if there was something else behind Hogan’s old saying about his 24 inch pythons.
Hogan went on to say, that he doesn’t remember other people’s names much less girls. Now while I would like to think his is because the Hulkster took to many chair shots or got slammed on his head too much. I fear Hogan is talking about the fact that he got around and had lots of sexual relationships with many women. There is a thought to make you nauseous. You go into a bar, you sweet talk a girl and she goes home with a 58 year old, steroid fueled ex-professional wrestler who reached the height of his popularity in 1985, probably before the young girl was born. Or maybe Hulk just does not think of females as real people.
Still the idea that Hulk is a raging sex symbol makes me sick a little. The fact that pro wrestling fans secretly want to watch this porno really makes me sick. Is there that much of a market for this video that Vivid is thinking about releasing it? What does that say about our society. Because I would guess most of Hulk’s fans are over the age of 20, the people that grew up with his are close to 30. These are the people that still want to see Hulk Hogan have sex.
Maybe they are curious to see if there is an answer to that age old question. What are you gunna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you. Of coarse at 58, I am guessing that no matter how much you train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins Hulkamania will probably just run down her leg.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
