Hello sorry, I have been unbelievably busy the last few days. So I am taking comedy writing classes and part of my assignment each week is to write headline news style jokes. Since I am busy here are my 5 jokes for this week. Enjoy! I hope!
In Jesse Ventura's new book, "DemoCrips and ReBloodlicans: No More Gangs in Government" the former Governor compares the two main political parties to the two famous gangs of LA the Crips and the Bloods and says the only difference is politicians wear Brooks Brother Suits. Ventura also suggested that Romney and Obama fight to the death with switchblades while singing "when you're a Jet you're a Jet till the end."
According to a new lawsuit an Italian eatery just steps from Yankee Stadium has been charging customers for slices of pizza and sex acts. Apparently $9 for a slice of pie wasn't fucking the customers enough.
Mayor Bloomberg signed a bill that would fine taxi cab drivers up to $10,000 for willingly taking prostitutes to their johns. Some women are worried that cab drivers will be afraid to pick up females dressed provocatively. Bloomberg responded by saying, "tell the sluts not to dress like filthy whores and a gentleman will drive them home."
Last week, leaders of the Beit Simchat Torah, a congregation for gay, lesbian and transgendered jews showed off their new synagogue and community center. Community members this synagogue does not bother them but feel the glory holes in the confessional booths are a bit much.
Mitt Romney accused President Barak Obama of not fighting for latinos immigration until a tough re-election year and that the President is only doing this to get latino votes. Democrats responded by saying , "duhhhhh."
I didnt say they were going to be great. I swear if I get time this week, some funny stories coming!
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